The Reconnection Community: Support for hurting

Estrangement isn't always an all or nothing experience. In fact, there are many levels in-between, and even different types of estrangement:

Being on "good terms" with someone at family events and gatherings but noticing a slight change in how one feels. Communication is respectful and functional. You may not be especially close, but conversations are civil and cooperative. There’s room for everyday exchanges and occasional warmth.

Greater awareness of unhappiness in relationship; slowing down communication, not visiting as often. Communication becomes limited or one-sided. Texts or calls might go

unanswered or receive short, detached replies. Contact may occur only for holidays, major events, or practical reasons, with little emotional connection.

There is still communication, but it often feels tense, unpredictable, or painful. Interactions may include petty accusations, defensiveness, or intentional misunderstandings. The adult child or their spouse may react with hostility or refuse to take responsibility for hurtful behavior. Conversations tend to go in circles or end in conflict, leaving

the parent emotionally drained.

Proactively cutting attempts to communicate - could last for X amount of time.  The adult child clearly expresses a wish for no communication—or completely ignores messages and attempts to reconnect. There is no ongoing dialogue, though one or both parties may still hold hope for future reconciliation.

Loss of relationship, no communication or efforts being made; living life without this person. All contact has ended, and the relationship is fully cut off. There is no communication, no mutual expectation of change, and often a deep grieving process for the loss of the relationship as it once was.

As modern society faces an epidemic of "cut-off" culture, there is now a plethora of books, podcasts, articles, and professionals getting on the bandwagon to help both adult children and their parents navigate this painful new trend.  There is much free content available, as well as fee based. 

Below is a short list of therapists, coaches, and authors that provide resources for parental estrangement; some are free & some have fee. We do not promote any paid resources, so please be sure to do your own search to best suit your needs. 

Dr. Joshua Coleman

Mathias J. Barker

Rachel Haack

Dr. Karl Pillemer

Tina Culbertson

Dr. Kristina Scharp

Tania Khazaal 

Dr. Janet Steinkamp

When Our Adult Children Walk Away podcast with Dr. Janet Steinkamp, EdD

The Terri Cole Show podcast